we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
