Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
