you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
