she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
