But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
