This show inspires me to have sex in space
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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