Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
