well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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