cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
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