there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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