I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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