just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
