thus making me awesome and them whores
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize