I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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