just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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