I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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