what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
