last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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