hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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