Can Purell be used as lube?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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