my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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