I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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