Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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