currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
