Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
