I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
