That's intense
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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