I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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