Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
