So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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