I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
