At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
