oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
