Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
