butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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