i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
is it fun? or sober?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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