If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
