butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
