we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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