youre lurking in front of me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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