Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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