I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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