I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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