I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
