But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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