i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
