Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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