The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
