Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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