I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
