I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
