All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
