careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
