friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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