i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
