so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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