$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
