why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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