I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
