Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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