why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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