Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
