the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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