How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
