I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
