Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
