My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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