You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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