Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
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where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
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Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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