How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
