i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
...so i touched it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
