he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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